Growing up fat was very hard for me—kids always pointed and made fun of me. I was born to be to be a loner, and I ate when I was bored and lonely. Sometimes I couldn’t even eat at certain restaurants because the tables couldn’t accommodate me. Growing up fat was a lifestyle—my entire family was fat, even my dogs! During grade school I gained weight very easily. My days consisted of watching TV and I never exercised.

post-op

Post-op

When I was 20, I met a girl. We ended up getting married, and she had a mother who loved to cook. Her mother would constantly cook for me, and when she wasn’t around, my wife and I would travel all around Los Angeles searching for new places to dine. About 6 years later, I started to use my size to my advantage. I tried acting; I danced shirtless in Whoopi Goldberg’s Eddie with “Knicks” painted on my chest. Even though I tried to make the best out of my situation, and even had a couple brief claim-to-fames, my weight was always more of a problem than a solution. For instance, shopping was exceedingly difficult—how do you shop for a 625-pound, 29-year-old man? Sometimes after walking as little as 7 or 8 steps, I would have to sit down.

By the time I was 30, I had Laparoscopic Surgery (Gastric Bypass). I lost more than 100 pounds in my first month. My old clothes became so big after my surgery that I could literally climb into one leg of my pants! In total, I lost more than 400 pounds. There was a catch, though: my doctor told me not to drink alcohol because I didn’t have a stomach anymore. I had started experimenting with alcohol in 2006. I soon realized that after my surgery I could get drunk a lot faster, and so my alcoholism kicked into high gear, and I eventually lost my wife. I quickly put on another 135 pounds and then started a strict regimen of restricting. Because I was so hung-over, I would only eat a minimal amount of food.

I’ve since stopped drinking and now weigh 300 pounds, which is 75 pounds more than my smallest weight, and 325 pounds less than my highest weight! I’ve learned to accept my current size. Yes, I did change my external size and yes, I’m sober, but I still need to work on that “hole” I have inside of me. All in all, if you’re at least 100 pounds overweight, I recommend weight loss surgery. It changed my life and it could change yours, but make sure that you get a good therapist. I learned the hard way that the surgery only fixes the outside, and not the inside.

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