Rejection. It has been something everyone has experienced once or has experienced as an on going cycle. For me the first time I remember I was rejected was at lunchtime in middle school when the two captains had to pick their teams for basketball. I wanted so badly to be picked first, but of course I was the last one to get picked. That to me was rejection, another way of people telling me I wasn’t good enough.
Rejection never gets easier as you get older. It seems to only make us feel worse about yourself. It seems to make us question almost everything we do because we want to make sure we never have to feel the pain of rejection. Whether it’s from a guy you like, your parents, your wife/husband, and even a friend. Rejection hurts.
Sometimes you need to take a step back and realize how many times you have rejected something or someone in a day. How often do you think about lunch for the day and want a something yummy, but just end up eating a salad or some vegetables? That’s rejection right there. When a friend or a significant other asks to go out or come over and you say something came up or not tonight, that’s rejection. But that’s easy rejection right because its not directed at you.
All these insecurities and fears come within our self. That’s why my eating disorder all started. Because I was scared of rejection, of someone telling me no. I was even scared to put a pair of pants on in my closet and they wouldn’t fit because to me that’s the worst rejection.
My eating disorder is being controlled by my thoughts and fears of the word OBJECTION. I know for the rest of my life things aren’t always going to go my way and I am going to have to face rejection no many times. But I just want to be able to know the fear of rejection is normal and that I am not the only one.
My fear, is not achieving something I want or making someone important proud of me. It has taken me a long time to be able to see myself clearly when I look in the mirror. Because before when I would see myself I knew it wasn’t me. After fighting through the fear and pain of rejection with my eating disorder, I finally am able to !mow that rejection will be apart of me for life. Jobs, romantic relations, and even in my social life I know I will have to face rejection face-to-face.
I have to remind myself daily that nobody is perfect That’s when the fear of rejection is taking control l have to take a step back and remember I am not alone. Rejection is a fear everyone around me is dealing with or has felt at one time in their life. Rejection is something I can’t run away from and I can’t let it control my eating disorder or me. I know its all easier said than done, but being able to say it is improvement and signs that I will change will happen and the fear of rejection will start to fade.